Valentines Day...stop it. These jokes are too easy. Therefore, for holidays I deviate from my normal routine. Instead I bring you The Single Male's Guide on Valentines Day:
1. Buy chocolates. Since you are single this a gift for yourself, you are actually allowed to eat all the candy and enjoy it.
2. Go to the bar. Nothing like running into a girl at a bar on valentines day. It is almost guaranteed she is single and she is 100% jealous of at least one friend who is with a boyfriend.
3. Talk about an ex-girlfriend. Show off an emotional side while also scoring points as a relationship guy who cares about the holiday. Also, there is no better aphrodisiac than sympathy.
4. Get a girl drunk. Drunk chicks on Valentines Day who do not have boyfriends put out 87% more of the time than any other night. Also they try really hard because they want to pretend they are not single, even for just a night.
5. Do not exchange numbers. This is important. As long as no numbers are traded you are clear. Chances are the chick is not into relationships anyway because she was single on V-day, but to make sure she doesn't get too attached stay away from names and numbers.
Hope this works out for all the single men out there on Valentines Day. Should be a busy night for birth control producers everywhere.
You can't drink and come to work, you're not airline pilots.
No comments:
Post a Comment