I forgot my password

With great power comes great responsibility.

I got nothing.

Eat schmit and die. 

A-Rod (his name in the title should get me worldwide recognition)

You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good.

Steroids...stop it. At this point it seems like the media is actively trying to ruin America's greatest past time with this whole steroids debacle. Are news outlets offering bonuses for any story with A-rod as a headline? Stop it. Yes, people have done steroids. Handle it internally and stop adding more and more doubt to a great sport. And now this A-rod thing is probably illegal to have released his name?? I hope that bitch gets tossed in the slammer. The media is getting out of control and it will soon ruin what has been a great game for decades. Stop it. Sure steroids also could be what ruined the game, but if MLB could handle the drug problems internally without bringing negative attention to the sport it would be better for everybody, except of course journalists. It has been a long offseason and with football season coming to an end the stories only look to get worse. Stop it. 

I grew up on the street. Not the hood...sesame street. 

I like to party

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Fraternities...stop it. I am not a downer on partying or frats, but sometimes it gets to much. I went to a frat party last night for the first time in a couple years and these guys were pure broverdose. The amount of broners and bromances happening around me was disgusting because of all the screaming. Stop it. I'm a fan of broing out, but this was just ridiculous. You don't have to yell and scream everytime something happens. I actually started doing it as a social experiment to try and fit in. I did not fit in. Stop it. O and the girls who go to these parties...stop it. I have a lot more to say, but I will stop it.

I'm a k. 

The best joke in this post is Lost.

Once you go black, you never go back. 

Yesterday was a pretty angst free day. Nothing really got to me I guess and I watched dumb and dumber which is absolutely amazing. Lost...stop it. I am sick and tired of this. Last nights episode was absolutely terrible. Im sick and tired of being sick and tired (dumb and dumber quote). People who run in this terrible cold...stop it. Not only are you freezing when there are indoor options, but you make the rest of us look bad. I don't go running when its beautiful out, and here you are running in 10 degree weather...stop it. 

In other news I signed a petition today. Something about a meditation group. I think I am going to start a petition to end petitioning. Which reminds me- I am against picketing, but I don't know how to show it (complements of Demetri Martin). I love those kind of jokes. One I thought of the other day...its really hard to say dyslexic backwards. Stop it.

Her name is Lady. She has a brother named Him. 

Chronically bragging about chronic

If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love. 

Marijuana is an illegal drug. If you use it...stop it. Or at least stop talking about it. People who brag about their use of weed or brag how much they smoke it or tell everyone that something they liked they should watch or do high and it will be better. I already liked the show! I already liked eating cookies! Stop it. Don't tell me o well you should watch it high. Who are you to tell me what to do? Stop it. Who brags about doing something illegal and thinks they are cool for it? O hey I steal a GPS system from a car every night and sometimes I even jack one in the morning if I'm hungover. Stop it. 

At least he uses good beans. 

Screw Pokemon Red, Get me a pack of Marlboro Reds

No survivors? Then where did all the stories come from?

I was waiting in Fridays for a table and a child, about 2 or 3 years old, tripped over my foot. As I was shocked that I just tripped a child my friend starts yelling "Brian! What are you doing? Why did you trip that little kid!?" This leads to me breaking out in laughter as I am standing over this kid and everyone cannot believe what an incredible asshole I would have to be in order to trip this child. I know this seems like a digression from my usual blogtif (combination of blog and motif) I thought the world needs to know if you ever trip a kid in Fridays while waiting for a table DO NOT LAUGH under any circumstances. 

Now leading me to my usual topic...smokers...stop it. While waiting for this table I look outside and see a kid no older than 12 smoking a boge...stop it. I don't blame him I blame the parents. O and the next day, coming out of the same shopping center, I am stopped at a light and to my right is a woman smoking a cigarette in her car with three little younglings in the back...stop it. She is smoking this thing in a similar way that you see someone hittin up an inhaler after doing the good ole mile run...stop it. What are you doing? You know you got kids back there, at least do it when they aren't around. What do you think they are going to do when they hit that ripe age of 10 and learn how to use a lighter? Stop it.

That tumor is so big it looks like a threemor.

Its not that i didn't remember, I just forgot

To infinity, and beyond.

Stupid sports announcers...stop it. The amount of times I want to kill myself during games sometimes is unrealistic. I feel like the quote "o my god, that is going in my blog" came up so many times yesterday, but it appears I may have drank to much because I do not remember any of it. 

if only i had a saddle, i could have ridden you